New Year’s Resolutions: Both Sides Now
I didn’t make any grandiose promises to myself at the New Year moment, but the turning of the calendar is as good a time as any to take stock in general and reassess. Am I doing all I can in this column? Have I become knee-jerk negative? What should I be doing differently? There are certainly things Walt Disney World should be doing differently—more on that in a second—but I’m not going to exempt myself from the recriminations. Hence, below are my resolutions for this year:
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- Achieve better balance in reporting. It’s awfully easy to get “tunnel vision” writing about Disney World. I’m there every week, so some of the things that seem obvious get left behind in favor of “what’s new.” That can be valuable too, but preferably not at the expense of painting an unintentionally skewed portrait of the reality. WDW is no local carnival; they still get a bazillion things right, and are rightfully still the industry leader. So I resolve to pay more attention to what’s right at the same time as what’s wrong.
- Remember the casual visitor. Like WDW, I need to remember that there are different audiences here at MiceAge. When I talk about “declining by degrees,” I need to frame and contextualize the comments appropriately. I am absolutely not a Disney hater—but my comments might make me look that way if I don’t frame them properly.
- But call things as I see them. In deference to the two points above, it would be seductively easy to merely temper and blunt my criticisms. Too much negativity makes Kevin a dull boy, right? The only problem is, WDW does face real challenges, and I still feel strongly that sunshine is the best disinfectant.
So how does all that come together? Well, uneasily and schizophrenically. Let me give you an example. On the plus side (things Disney does right), we have the Christmas parade. I wish it were free all the time, but at least it’s free for a few days right after Christmas, and this parade is still great. I defy you not to get into the spirit, if not experience outright shivers, when the marching soldiers clomp, clomp, clomp rhythmically down the street. It’s impossible to repress a grin. Isn’t that what Disney is all about? Making you feel young again?
I love that they are playing actual instruments;
the costumes are designed to still let them do so.
And yet, just across the way in the same park, we have an example of a major decline. You’ve probably heard online about the yeti in Expedition Everest, stuck in one pose and illuminated only by a strobe light to give the appearance of dynamism and movement. I still like the phrase “disco yeti” for this B-mode of operation. The Magic Kingdom has something almost as bad, and it’s been there for months too. I’m referring to the earthquake scene of Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.
First, some backstory. As the attraction was plotted on storyboards a story developed. Greedy prospectors were plundering the hills of Big Thunder, once sacred Indian ground, for their gold. Indian legend warned of a great disaster that would befall anyone who disturbed the mountain. One night the miners set out on the train down into the deep mines of the mountain. Here, Indian spirits took control of the mine train and set it out of control down the mountain, and the miners were never seen again. Later a great earthquake would destroy much of the mine and as more disasters occurred the frightened miners fled from Big Thunder leaving only a handful of residents and of course the legend of Big Thunder. Thus, the earthquake is a central feature of the ride’s storyline. You’d expect it to be maintained, right?
The rumble sound effect was on, but there was no visible effects of the earthquake. The moving rocks along the sides of the tunnels (there used to be at least three) were completely immobile. The falling rocks effect “up ahead” has variously been a shimmer on a shiny surface or a projection over the years, but now neither was turned on. The tunnel was inert.
Worse, the tunnel has been missing a major set piece for a long time. It doesn’t take a lot of effort or an eagle eye to see the black fabric stretched out here in place of an actual rock.
Watch out for that falling… oh wait, never mind.
Granted, this is a flash photo – the effect isn’t quite THAT pronounced in person – but it would be disingenuous to claim that the natural show lighting hides this missing show rock. It’s visible and obvious. There are tiny versions of similar problems on lots of rides. On Splash Mountain, just before the finale, you can easily spot a large wooden plank nailed on the emergency walkway, as visible as day. This kind of show violation on such major rides reeks of local carnivals, not the industry leader. So I feel compelled to speak up vocally about it, even while I try to balance such complaints with the due compliments elsewhere.
Trip Report: New Year’s Eve at Epcot
So how do I report on the New Year’s Eve festivities (I was at Epcot) given the resolutions above? With a vow to be balanced, of course!
There’s something about Epcot on New Year's Eve.
Speaking for myself, I had a fantastic day. The park was uber-crowded, but we knew to expect this. In fact, we just held a spot for the fireworks out of the way, and carved a little corner for ourselves pretty much the entire day. We took turns venturing out for food and exploring, but we had no agenda in terms of rides we had to visit. Good thing, too, since it was busy. Both Soarin and Test Track sported lines with 200-minute posted wait times.
Grassy zones became intentional spill-over areas.
Undoubtedly a lot of folks around us were miserable—I heard a lot of complaining. The parks are not a good place to visit in a “normal” way (the ‘must get on rides’ mentality) on such holidays. It’s a lot easier for me to sit down out of the way. And as I say, I had a great day. It was warm (73 degrees or so) and the fireworks delivered, as they always do. There’s nothing on earth like the Epcot New Year’s Eve fireworks. The spectacle here isn’t the grandeur of explosions “in the round” (though they have that too, briefly). Rather, the attraction is the simple onslaught of gunpowder that surrounds and envelops you at the very end. Have you seen the “holiday tag” they do during the Christmas season, as a finale to Illuminations? That holiday tag ends with a big old bang (caveat: it used to be bigger still, in past years) that makes other fireworks displays look ordinary by comparison. Well, the New Year’s fireworks make the holiday tag look ordinary by comparison.
A brief moment “in the round” before the true insanity begins.
Here’s a video I found online. Advance to 2:40 for the moment of midnight, then watch for the explosions to really kick in around 3:55. The video, needless to say, doesn’t do the reality justice. Particularly if your viewing spot is waterside as ours was—those explosions are DIRECTLY overhead. The ground quite literally trembles and quakes (no Big Thunder jokes, please) and your field of vision is entirely consumed by the pyrotechnics. It’s astonishing and I hope you all get to experience this first-hand someday. Bravo to Disney for this amazing display, year after year.
There were dance clubs at China and Italy. There was also one behind the Fountain of Nations. Didn’t there used to be one in France, too, in past years? In any event, the existing impromptu “clubs” were well-attended by young folks having a great time (and darned if I didn’t feel a touch old, since I didn’t know all the songs, but those dancers did). I love the fire effects in China and am glad that’s still around.
Ditto the laser effects at the Italy dance club. In these zones, there were no unhappy faces. That might also have been due to the effects of alcohol, though. Several carts and booths sprung up along the walkways, some of them selling only alcoholic drinks (others had food, too). One British couple near me (they camped nearby for the fireworks) decried so much alcohol in the park. This was not me fishing for complaints; this was them raising the issue unbidden. But it made me think. They claimed that over the years, Disney has become more aggressive at selling the adult drinks, which was changing the culture and atmosphere of the event. I didn’t have the experience at this park necessary to agree or disagree, though, so I can’t really comment either way. You’re welcome to chime in with your perspective here to help me out!
New to Me
As a reminder, these are quick glimpses of things in the park that are new-ish (not all are sparkling new, but all are “new to me”).
We start with the queue for Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, where the line has become a playground. The Tigger bounce pads remain behind trees (in fact, the pad covers themselves were missing last week too), but one fallow area just before the touchscreen honey walls has gotten new toys: the “follow the wire” pull toys you might find in a doctor’s office waiting room, here themed as bees moving through beehives. It’s one big loop, and as much fun for adults as for kids.
Some kids out of the photo frame were “hogging” several bees;
I wonder if there’s a way to discourage that?
The Wild Africa Trek about to come to Kilimanjaro Safari features a lot of walking about in previously unseen angles, and you can plainly see the rope bridges they built over the crocodile pool. That looks exciting. There’s also now a station built on a hill between the savannah and the elephants (and visible from both sides).
The refreshments will be served here, one assumes.
The Adventureland Veranda restaurant closed many years ago, but they used the space sometimes for such events as Jack Sparrow signings one Halloween. This holiday, they opened up a quick-service restaurant… really just service out of chafing dishes. We sampled the jambalaya (“serviceable” according to my wife, spicy awesomeness according to me), the beef stew (peppery and loaded with flavor), and the Sloppy Jo [sic] sandwich, which I expected to be bland, but it was anything but. I’m at a loss how they got that much flavor into such a simple and familiar dish—was it maybe not ground round they were using? The cast said the Sloppy Jo comes from Tony’s on Main Street (it does?) but the other dishes were new creations in search of a home. Maybe the Sunshine Tree Terrace by the Tiki Room, which also started serving entrees recently, until 4pm daily.
I have yet to see the upstairs facility and seating – I wonder if it’s in disrepair?
Also new for the holidays, a food-and-wine booth appeared near the exit to MuppetVision, serving pasta dishes. This is welcome indeed, since the area gets so crowded during the Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights.
Penne for $6.50, or with meatballs for $8.75
Osborne itself only had minor changes, such as a voiceover cameo by Phineas and Ferb (they help restore electricity after a blackout), and a set of windows that received videoscreens. These were used to display lazily drifting snowflakes.
Osborne still sparkles and delights.
In Italy, the Via Napoli restaurant has begun selling individual slices of pizza. We happened to visit on Dec. 31, so the lines were astronomical (at least 40+ people), and we didn’t wait to taste the result. I’ve been assured it’s the same delicious pizza you can get indoors.
$6.50 for a (large) rectangular slice of cheese pizza is a touch expensive, but still worth it.
40x40 Fan Celebration Week #3: Barnstormer
As promised, my family and I have started paying tribute to all forty rides and attractions in the Magic Kingdom as part of the 40th anniversary, and we welcomed a few visitors to join us. The first week was Mickey’s House, the following week was Minnie’s House. Like the rest of Mickey’s Toontown Fair, both are slated for destruction soon, so this was also a chance to say goodbye.
Readers are encouraged to join me any week (or even every week). It’s always Saturday at 2pm – we meet at the Enchanted Grove, and no RSVP is necessary. The full schedule of meets can be found here.
Those of you who would like a Facebook event to serve as a reminder each week should contact me by email or Facebook to request to be part of that list. I hesitate to just add all my Facebook friend contacts without permission—it feels too much like spam. So this will be an opt-in list of folks who want the weekly Facebook “event” to pop up for them. You can state your intended attendance for each event on a week by week basis. I encourage you to sign up; you can always ignore the weeks when you can’t be there!
WDW Hidden History Book
As introduced recently, my newest book is all about those little things in the parks that have significance to insiders and long-timers, but are never explained or highlighted. When a ride closes, sometimes pieces or props from that ride are folded into the replacement attraction (think of the World of Motion car seen in the queue of Test Track). Other times, designers intentionally craft a tribute to the previous ride—an example of that might be the carving of a submarine in the cement tree created for Pooh’s Playful Spot where the 20,000 Leagues subs used to be.
The other kind of homage in the parks concerns not rides, but individuals. The designers, artists, engineers, executives, and people important to Disney’s history often provide the inspiration for names and titles used at the attractions. There are 240 historical elements discussed, with most also shown in a photo. At the back you’ll also find an index and a listing of attractions by year (when they opened and when they closed, if applicable).
Amazon works in mysterious ways, but as of this writing, it’s now on sale, both the Kindle version and the paperback. Prices vary. Remember that the Kindle version can be read on a smartphone with the free Kindle app, too—no Kindle hardware is required.
Several reviews of the book are now online:
Have a look if you get a chance. Thanks for the interest! |
