In the past several weeks, a few websites have been reporting that J.K. Rowling, author of the wildly popular Harry Potter books, has sealed a deal with Universal to bring the Potter world to the Universal parks. This comes on the heels of a supposed bidding war between Disney and Universal, both of whom wanted the Potter franchise. For the first time in a while, Disney has lost.

The kinds of things being discussed for the Potter appearance in parks include the shrinking of the Lost Continent area of Islands of Adventure (IOA) down to just the Flying Unicorn kid coaster and the Dueling Dragons inverted coaster, and using the rest of the Lost Continent area for Harry Potter, remaking the midway as Diagon Alley and ditching Sinbad for a Potter-themed show, as well as losing Poseidon’s Fury in favor of a Potter ride, perhaps even a flying car ride.

The kuka arm, as seen on the Nemo ride (when
broken down) - photo enhanced for better view.

Relatedly, Universal won the rights for ten years to the Kuka robotic arm, at use in Disney World now in Innoventions (they bang on drums) and The Seas with Nemo and Friends (the arm powers the angler fish chase scene). Disney had hoped to use that arm on a real roller coaster track to create an Incredibles attractions at DCA (and elsewhere), but that now seems pretty dead. Universal, meanwhile, could easily use it to make the Flying Weasley Car a reality at IOA.

My interest is piqued, not only because I want to see what IOA does with the Potter rights, but also because history tells me this will be an interesting time in theme parks. When Universal announced it was opening a studio theme park in Central Florida, Disney reacted by scrambling and coming up with Disney-MGM Studios, announcing it second but building it faster and opening it first. When Church Street Station in Downtown Orlando became such a draw that Disney wanted in on the action, they opened Downtown Disney. When Disney eyed the tourists heading out to Cape Canaveral, they responded with Mission:Space (Canaveral has since returned the volley in the form of a new simulator about launching on the space shuttle, something I’ve yet to experience).

Mission:Space

The point being, Disney World has long been reactionary in Central Florida. When something new is built, or even announced, Disney feels it must defend its territory and keep people on property by responding with their own equivalent offering.

So let’s fire up the Armchair Imagineering ideas. What could be Disney’s response? One hopes and assumes it won’t be "nothing" and just business as usual. Something tossed about frequently in message boards is the Narnia movie(s), one of which did great business at the box office, and the future ones promise to be pretty good too. These parallel the Tolkien worlds of the Lord of the Ring, though, rather than Potter. What’s the Potter equivalent?

If Disney were smart, it would turn to box office records to find ideas. Internationally and without adjusting for inflation, the top box office draws on paper include Pirates (check!), Jurassic Park (already taken), Lord of the Rings (not taken yet), and Harry Potter (taken). But most visitors are American citizens, not internationals, so perhaps the best approach is to look at what sells for Americans. And to adjust for inflation. BoxOfficeMojo.com has a convenient listing of just that.

Here are the top twenty of all time, using 2007 dollars as the adjusted gross:

Some of these properties already exist in the theme park universe, others already belong to Disney, and still others just wouldn’t do well in the theme park setting. But what catches my eye is just how often Star Wars shows up here. Yes, Disney has Star Tours and the Star Wars Weekends at the Studios park (soon to be renamed Disney-Pixar Studios).

But I’ve long felt that Disney has under-used the Lucas properties. Is one attraction—the dated Star Tours—really enough to meet the demand? The packed conditions on Star Wars Weekends would imply otherwise. There’s room to grow here, perhaps a lot of room.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been bothered by the Lucas properties inside Disneyland in Anaheim. Star Tours and the Indiana Jones Adventure are both top-notch attractions, but they seemed out of place in so far as they were the ONLY external visions transplanted into the middle of Walt’s Happiest Place on Earth. Everything else was conjured up by the Disney company.

When the Lucas concepts were brought to WDW, they were wisely and appropriately moved to the studios park. But to my great chagrin, they were given the fake-Hollywood treatment. The wonderful Endor set as the outdoor queue to Star Tours is blatantly revealed to be façade-only, as if to emphasize this is not a real representation, only something used for filming. Likewise, the Indy stunt show is not a "straight" show, but an exegesis on Hollywood stunt-making and the filming process.

No, we did not come here to see C-3PO’s chair. We came here to escape
to the Star Wars universe, without reminders that it’s only a movie.

Let me be blunt: this is unendingly tiresome. None of the Studios park is being used as a working studio any more, and in any event the entire theme is boring and outdated. If anything, the park should morph to a theme of simply celebrating movies, not fake-pretending that we as participants are helping to make one. That would enable them to use real, authentic three-dimensional theming instead of pretending one is on a movie set. The objective is to transport visitors not to a Hollywood set, but to the actual location implied by the fantasy.

There is even precedent for this. The very well-received Tower of Terror at MGM is likely so well-received because it doesn’t pretend it’s part of a movie set. It eschews the movie set nonsense and instead goes directly for the you-are-there illusion. No hokey facades and movie lighting here!

An un-ironic environment... what a concept!

Putting those concepts together, I sense an opportunity for Disney to react to the upcoming Potterland at IOA by building a real, three-dimensional, non movie-set version of some Star Wars locale. Or even locales. Who wouldn’t love to wander Mos Eisley or Mos Espa? Take a walk through the forests of Endor and stumble across the Imperial base? Have lunch on Jabba’s barge (or maybe Jabba’s palace)? Take a simulator ride through the crowded sky-lanes of Coruscant? Stomp through the authentically-cold rebel base on Hoth? The possibilities just boggle the mind.

Look, Star Wars is number two on the list of all-time movies, when adjusted for inflation. Disney is crazy not to capitalize on that even more than they are. I’m sure it would take much more wrangling and bargaining with the Lucas folks to make this vision come true. I’m sure it will cost Disney a lot of money. But I’m not sure they can afford to pass this up. If they don’t want mass defection of fantasy fans to Potter in 2009 (or whenever that opens), they had better do something.

The Poseidon Adventure: headed, along with Lost Continent, for Yesterland (or Yester-IOA?)

I do not pretend that my ideas and armchair Imagineering today is informed by any inside information; it’s not. But history tells me Disney may do SOMETHING in reaction to Potter’s arrival, and I dearly hope it’s for Star Wars. And I hope it’s in the vein of "real" theming like Tower of Terror, and not "faux" theming that recalls a Hollywood set. The changeover to a new name (Disney-Pixar Studios) could be just the opportunity they need to shift the theme away from fake movie sets, and just to celebrating movies, including those movies outside the Disney canon.

Disney has made the rumors official: in late August, Tusker House at Animal Kingdom (DAK) will close and it will reopen in mid November as a buffet for lunch and dinner. For breakfast, it will be Donald’s Safari Breakfast, featuring Donald, Daisy, Mickey, and Goofy (subject to actor availability). In response, Donald’s Breakfastosaurus will stop after early November.

Tusker House: Counter Service no more, after this summer.

What’s behind this change? To me, the answer is patently obvious. This is yet another curse of the Dining Plan. You see, in late summer 2007, the Yak and Yeti will open up, featuring both counter service and table service. Aha, people will exult. Finally, a sit down restaurant in DAK!!! But their excitement will be short lived. What do you mean, this doesn't accept my Disney Dining Plan?! (Reason: it's run by an outside company). They will be peeved.

Knowing this, Disney World is making plans now to create a table service facility in DAK that *will* be on the Disney Dining Plan. They looked around and saw they couldn't convert Restaurantosaurus, due to the contract with McDonald's. Flame Tree is outdoor only; that won't do for a buffet and table service. So they decided to chop up Tusker House.

As many fans have pointed out, this is a mistake. They should have gone after Pizzafari, another indoor restaurant that has lots of indoor and air-conditioned seating. Losing that wouldn't be a crime, since the menu is so bland. But losing Tusker House is a major problem. It had unique choices and still managed to stay healthy.

The under-utilized Pizzafari would have been a good choice.

Blame the Dining Plan. This is yet another way the best intentions sometimes yield unsavory results and unwanted side effects. I’ve previously chronicled how the Dining Plan leads to homogenized menus and reduced choices. In my blog, I’ve pointed out that the eventual future of the Dining Plan may well be what we can see already in IOA and Universal-Orlando, where they have three or four restaurants per park dedicated to their Meal Deal. Venture inside any of those selected eateries and you’ll find a complete absence of lines. The only people eating here are on the Meal Deal, and there aren’t that many of them. Why is that? Because the food choices are bland, boring, overpriced, and un-enticing.

© 2007 Kevin Yee

Let's Discuss!

Click on this link to discuss this article on MiceChat!